Phonecall to Maia (Thursday)

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

She should have done this yesterday. Actually, she should have done this Tuesday within five seconds of breaking the connection with Earth. But she hadn't because life had gotten in the way and she had been stupid enough to deal with it.

But here she was, back underground.

"Zathras is thinking Ivanova should be moving her quarters down here," Zathras chuckled as he met her. "Draal is not minding. Give him less to do, yes."

"Draal knows how grateful I am for this, right?"

"Yes, yes, Draal is knowing." Draal is also watching the conversations while munching the Minbari equivalent of popcorn, which is probably why Draal is knowing and is not minding. But Ivanova didn't need to know that.

Ivanova climbed in again, opened her mind, and went looking for Maia.

Comments

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia was sitting in the common room of the Koala Cabin very carefully sticking toothpicks into peas. The peas were sitting in a bowl of water to keep them fresh. After they were added to Maia's sculpture they would harden and hold up the toothpicks.

She slightly jumped when Susan appeared before her. She didn't say anything, she just glanced at her and continued to take the peas out of the water and stick them on the ends of her toothpicks.

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Ivanova didn't even pretend to know what she was doing. She crouched by Maia, wrapping her uniformed arms around her knees. "Hey," she said softly as if she wasn't a hologram that had just appeared out of thin air.

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

"Hi." Maia said quietly, a toothpick in one hand and a pea in the other. She blinked slowly at Susan and then stabbed the pea with the toothpick.

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Ivanova winced. Stabbing. Not good. "I'm sorry," she said quickly. "I shouldn't have left like that."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia turned to look at her, her eyes were darker then usual. "No you shouldn't have." she was not going to make this easy for Susan even though she had forgiven her already.

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Ivanova sighed. It was times like these she really wished the Great Machine was Greater. She had no idea what Maia was feeling at the moment and she didn't like having these conversations without cheating a little.

"Maia, it's just . . . I feel guilty when you say things like that. I just don't want to hold you back."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

"Your not." Maia said breathlessly, scared now Ivanova would disappear again. She could only feign fury with Susan for so long before melting. "I just- I say what I feel..." She said trailing off a little, a slight blush to her cheeks as she said it.

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

"I still feel guilty for even having you feel that way," Ivanova murmured. "Look, Maia, I'm used to sudden endings. It's over and it will never be again and I can't help but think that you might not want it to be over so you hang on."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia bit her lip and then stared at her sculpture of toothpicks. She couldn't think of anything to say to that, she closed her eyes quickly and then opened them as Susan's words made her feel like the world just dropped out from beneath her.

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Great. That had come out much harsher than she had intended. She ducked her head, trying to get into Maia's line of vision. "I can't read your thoughts," she said dryly, spouting the very true cliche. "Please, Maia, tell me what you're thinking. I'm trying to keep you from getting hurt and I'm failing."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

"I feel like the world just dropped out from beneath me." She said honestly and very calmly as she added another tier to what appeared to be the Eiffel Tower.

"You don't get to dictate how I should act Susan. If I want to think about you and wish you were here, then you really can't keep me from doing it. Even if you think you'll never come back." Maia's voice stayed in the same even manner as if they were calmly discussing what she was building.

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Ivanova's jaw dropped open a bit. She hadn't expected . . .

"I'm not dic . . ." she trailed off, shaking her head. "I am. I'm so sorry, Maia, I didn't even think . . ." Ivanova took a steadying breath. "I don't want you to be hurt and I thought the best way to do that would be to forget that this - us - ever happened. Maybe I'm wrong."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia fixed Ivanova into her gaze. "Do you want to forget it? Never think about it again?" She said in a curious tone.

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

"No!" It was Maia's calm tone more than anything that was making the usually confident Russian falter. "No, I don't. But that's different. I'm different. I'm . . ." She trailed off awkwardly before finishing, "Used to it."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia frowned at the words that Susan was used to it. "I know your different, that's why I liked you so much." Maia replied pushing the toothpick tower aside to look at Susan without distraction. "I'm not used to it, but still, I don't want to forget it and I don't want to let go of what we had so soon after you've left. It was..." Maia searched for a word as she drew her knees up under her chin and regarded Ivanova quietly for a few minutes. "It was amazing." She said finally.

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

A smile spread across Ivanova's face. "It was amazing," she agreed. "Alright, so no. I'll stop trying to dictate you, I promise. Just . . . try to do what's right for yourself, alright? Not what's best for me, or some us-that-was." She looked down, her tone lowering. "I do care about you, Maia."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia smiled sadly, one of the those moments she couldn't touch Susan when she desperately wanted to. "I care about you to." She said. "I'll do what is best for everyone concerned." She said with a nod, her voice somewhat more cheerful then it had been before.

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

"Good," Ivanova nodded firmly. "Good." She cast her eyes around the room, settling on Maia's pea sculpture. "So what exactly are you making?" she asked curiously.

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

"It's for the arts fair in like two weeks. It's the Eifel Tower..." Maia said turning it a little so Ivanova could get a better look at it. "When the peas dry out it holds all the toothpicks together, I'm going to paint it grey and I guess enter it. Professor Tick wants everyone in the Arts and Crafts class to enter something in the show."

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

"It looks good," she said, tilting her head a bit to get the full effect of the not-yet-complete structure. Ivanova chuckled. "Professor Tick. I like that guy. I was on C.R.A.C.K., you know."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

"Were you?" Maia said with a raised eyebrow. "I didn't know that."

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Ivanova nodded seriously. "Had an official badge and everything. Just about the only official duty I ever had was feeding the ducks, though . . ."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

"I like the ducks." She said with a smile. "Mr. Crowley had one that howled." She said with a wink and a nod "It's an important job to feed all those ducks. I mean...well hell they might be forced to forge for food naturally you know."

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

"And what a shame that would be," Ivanova agreed. "You know, it was feeding the ducks that I first met Dora." She chuckled. "She tripped over me, unsurprisingly."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia laughed, "Yeah she tends to do that sometimes. I met her at Wonka's Candy Shop." Maia said with a smile remembering Tonks pulling out a wand to wrap up a present for her. "She showed me a trick with her wand and we got to talking. She's really nice." Maia said still smiling, her fingers absently going to the chain around her neck from the necklace Tonks had given her for protection.

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

"I've always wondered how someone so low to the ground can be so clumsy . . ." Ivanova mused lightly, teasingly. She sighed. "I still miss her. Can't believe how long it's been since . . ."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

"Yeah." Maia said seemingly lost in her own thoughts about Tonks. "She's something else."

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Ivanova shook her head slightly. "Here I am, all maudlin. I shouldn't be surprised. I am, after all, Russian." Her tone became serious as she looked Maia in the eye. "We're alright now?"

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia looked back, her eyes soft as she wanted to melt into Ivanova. "Yeah." She said in an almost whisper.

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

Ivanova's smile was soft. "Just what I wanted to hear." She turned her head suddenly, as if hearing something in the distance. "Blyad. I have to go."

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia looked disappointed. "We'll be back in the dorm rooms next week." She said quickly not knowing if Susan was going to disappear suddenly or not again. "So that's where I'll be when you go to look for me ok?"

[suzotchka.livejournal.com]

"Don't worry," Ivanova grinned. "I'll always be able to find you, Maia." She hesitated before leaning over. She was getting more and more used to the Great Machine, and thought she could do this, concentrating entirely on one point. Her legs began to disappear, a cloud of dissolving pixels moving up her torso. Just before she disappeared entirely, her lips, real and solid, brushed against Maia's forehead.

[maias-notebook.livejournal.com]

Maia looked stunned as she felt Susan's lips. She tried to stand up to brush her lips against Susan's but she was gone. "I felt you." She whispered to the air where Susan had just been. Maia felt like her heart was going to explode from happiness.